When parents separate, one of the most difficult questions is: what happens with the children? Understandably, disputes can arise over living arrangements, time spent with each parent, and important decisions such as schooling. As a family lawyer in Hampshire who parents turn to for pragmatic, child-focused support, we [at Just Family Law] aim to outline practical routes that avoid the stress and delay of court where possible.
It may feel like going straight to court is the only way forward. But in many cases, there are better, less stressful options available. So, should you take children disputes to court? Let’s look at the alternatives.
Why court isn’t always the best first step
Taking a children dispute to court can:
- Be stressful and emotionally draining
- Take many months, or even years, to resolve
- Cost significantly more than other approaches
- Make co-parenting harder in the future due to its adversarial nature
- Affect the children, who need reassurance and stability during this time
That’s why most family law professionals recommend exploring non-court options first.
Alternatives to court in children disputes
1) Mediation
Mediation allows you and your former partner to meet with a neutral professional who helps you work through disagreements.
- It’s often quicker and cheaper than court.
- Parents retain control of the outcome.
- Agreements reached in mediation can be formalised later if needed.
A family lawyer in Hampshire can help you prepare for mediation, reality-check proposals, and convert any agreement into a binding order.
2) Negotiation
Negotiation can be as simple as parents talking directly or as structured as solicitor-led discussions.
- Offers flexibility and privacy.
- Keeps matters out of the courtroom unless absolutely necessary.
3) Round-table meetings
An informal but structured way to resolve disputes with the help of solicitors.
- Both parents and their solicitors meet face-to-face to discuss issues.
- Encourages open, constructive negotiation in a less adversarial environment.
- Meetings are flexible: a single session or several shorter meetings.
- Useful where clear communication and practical solutions are needed quickly.
4) Collaborative law
Both parents and their solicitors commit to reaching a resolution without court proceedings.
- Everyone works together through a series of meetings (often like round-table meetings).
- Encourages cooperation and reduces conflict.
5) Parenting plans and consent orders
A parenting plan records practical arrangements such as living schedules and parental responsibilities.
- Informal but provides clarity and reduces misunderstandings.
- Parenting plans can be turned into legally binding consent orders if greater certainty is required.
6) One Couple One lawyer….
A jointly instructed individual lawyer can act as a neutral facilitator:
- Guides discussion around child arrangements
- Suggests compromises based on law and precedent
- Drafts agreements for submission to court if needed
The focus is always on achieving arrangements in the child’s best interests rather than protecting one parent’s position.
When court may be necessary
In some cases, court is unavoidable. For example:
- Concerns about family violence, abuse, or neglect
- An urgent need for protective orders
- One parent refusing to participate in mediation
- No agreement despite genuine efforts
In these situations, the court will step in to make decisions in the child’s best interests, as required by law.
Final thoughts
Should you take children disputes to court? The answer depends on your circumstances. While court is sometimes essential, it should usually be the last resort. Alternatives such as mediation, negotiation, and parenting agreements often provide quicker, less stressful, and more child-focused outcomes.
Kate Evans is a Senior Paralegal with Just Family Law and has considerable experience in Children Act cases, including high-conflict matters and those involving children with special needs.
Speak to a family solicitor in Winchester
For tailored guidance on which route is right for your family, speak with a family lawyer in Hampshire who can help you navigate options and keep the focus on your child’s welfare.
To book an appointment with Kate to discuss your situation, please contact her on 01962 217640, kateevans@just-family-law.com or https://calendly.com/jfl_kateevans
If you prefer, our family law team in Hampshire can arrange an initial consultation with a family solicitor to map out next steps https://calendly.com/justfamilylaw_georgina
